In my last post I went over marriage and how it is an inseparable union that man cannot do away with. “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:9 RSVSCE). In other words, when a man and woman are properly married, they are married for life. There is no such thing as a divorce. People that know me might say, “How can you say that divorce is not possible? Haven’t you been divorced twice and married three times?” Yes, I have been divorced twice and married three times. But how? The answer lies in the difference between a biblical marriage defined by God and a civil marriage defined by a secular Government. I had to have my previous marriages examined by the Church when me and my wife converted to the Catholic Faith before they could approve and bless our marriage. The Church obviously cannot grant divorces; however, it examines marriages to determine if they were ever valid to begin with. This is called an Annulment Process. “What is often referred to as a “marriage annulment” in the Church is actually a declaration by a Church tribunal (a Catholic Church court) that a marriage thought to be valid according to Church law actually fell short of at least one of the essential elements required for a binding union” (Annulment). The Catholic annulment process is a lengthy one that generally takes months to complete. I had to answer multiple in length questions regarding each marriage, particularly the moments surrounding the mindset around the marriage ceremony. I had to also provide multiple witnesses that knew me at the time. The same packet was sent to each of my ex-wives. The process moves forward whether or not the other party fills out the information, however it helps the court get a better picture for the process. A Church advocate represented me, and one represented my ex’s, and one Church advocate represented the Church itself in favor of the union bond. The tribunal looks at all the evidence from all sides, for and against and made an official decision.

 “For a Catholic marriage to be valid, it is required that:

1. The spouses are free to marry.
2. They are capable of giving their consent to marry.
3. They freely exchange their consent.
4. In consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another and be open to having and raising children;
5. They intend the good of each other; and
6. Their consent is given in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized Church minister.
   Exceptions to the last requirement must be approved by Church authority” (Annulment).

Both of my previous marriages were not ever considered valid because I had a different understanding of what a marriage was. The idea I had of a marriage was not for life. I was used to seeing people get a divorce when they no longer saw fit to be together. It was everywhere, in the movies and in real life. I also took the vows said as symbolic instead of literal. I took them to be said as words of tradition instead of actual meaning. It was not until I was studying to become a catholic that I learned what a marriage really was. It took several months for the verdict on each to come back. Once my previous marriages were considered null and void, the Church then made my current marriage valid, and it was blessed. 

It is important to remember that if a marriage is not considered valid, it does not mean that the relationship was not real. All it means is that the relationship was recognized as a marriage in the eyes of the Government but not in the eyes of God and the Church. 

Works Cited

“Annulment | USCCB.” United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. Web. 21 May 2022. <http://www.usccb.org/topics/marriage-and-family-life-ministries/annulment&gt;.